H&M Cashier: Next guest. Next guest… yes, you!
Customer: Do you have these in blue? (Holds up a plaid shirt wadded into a ball.)
H&M Cashier: Where did you get this?
Customer: I don’t know. (Points in vague suggestion) Over there.
H&M Cashier: There? (Points in vague suggestion)
Customer: Yeah somewhere.
H&M Cashier: These are on sale?
Customer: I know. Do you have them in blue?
H&M Cashier: I think there are some in gray with a little bit of blue.
Customer: No. I mean mostly blue, with a little bit of black or gray.
H&M Cashier: I think there are some in red.
Customer: No. I saw those. I want blue. Blue. You know, like blue, blue.
H&M Cashier: Did you try polos and tees?
Customer: It’s February!
H&M Cashier: Just blue?
Customer: Yeah.
H&M Cashier: Like solid blue?
Customer: Or green, but only if it’s like, what do they call it?
H&M Cashier: …Olive green?
Customer: No. You know… what they wear in the army.
H&M Cashier: You mean that spotty stuff. (Waves hand to suggest spots.)
Customer: Yeah, that’s it.
H&M Cashier: What do they call it?
Customer: Campo… campoflage?
H&M Cashier: Yeah, camelflage. (Means camouflage)
Customer: That's it!
H&M Cashier: No, we don’t carry that. Try the Army Navy store.
Customer: Army Navy? What’s that?
H&M Cashier: A store.
Customer: Where is it? Is one around…?
H&M Cashier: …I don’t know, I don’t think they exist.
Customer: So you don’t have any?
H&M Cashier: Just what’s on the rack and the table, and check the floor. Sometimes they fall off.
–Ron Knoth, Guest Blogger
Where do I get a ticket to the next show at Ron's Retail Theater? He always makes me laugh. I really want to accompany him while shopping someday. I'll bring the popcorn!
~Becky
Funny stuff Ron! When will managers and DMs realize that cashiers cannot move sales. Cutbacks to beyond the bone mean they need to be concierge, therapist, babysitter, clerk, customer service, traffic cop and try to sell merchandise. Look at a Victoria's Secret – they get you don't leave a customer just because there's a line. More retailers could use a direct transcript of what happens on their floors.
Too funny! Feels like I was there.
Ron,
You weren't kidding!
I went to H&M on Tuesday and there was nothing but BEIGE everywhere. And white. That was it. I was so bored that after 5 minutes I left and headed over to Forever 21 (where crazy colors rule).
Great blog – you rock!
-Heather
Dear Readers,
The banalatiy and mediocrity of life is astounding and funny. It's life's ambuigities that makes life so interesting.
Years ago I got the opportunity to study with Augusto Boal. The famed theater director/writer, who staged his productions in what he called "the theatre of life", courtrooms, AA meetings and the supermarket. Performers would improvise with real people. The thesis was that life is theater.
Next week (March 7th) I'm posting a "Seen and Heard" on my site http://www.thebespokenfor.net called "CLUB MONACO HAS STANDARDS" Check in to hear two dishy salespeople serve it up to Banana Republic.
I'm glad to give everyone a few laughs.
Ron